Anxiety, it's something I have dealt with since I was younger and as I grew older it only got worse. The younger me who was bubbly and wasn't afraid to talk to strangers, grew up to being afraid to walk into Walmart and go to the cash register. Anxiety is something most of us all deal with, whether it is small, or large within us at some point we all feel it, and for some of us it never goes away. During this time, as I sit in quarantine as a pandemic sweeps our world, as I can't leave the house even though as an introvert I would rather be inside when I don't have to be. As I can't see all of my friends, loved ones, church family, to go to town, to live what was once my normal everyday life. Where I once was a paranoid germaphobe who would sanitize and wash her hands constantly, to now where I am terrified to leave my house because I may come in contact with this virus. To where if I sneeze more than once or have a headache, I instantly take my temperature because the paranoia has become out of hand. To where I am constantly stressed, and overthinking every little thing I do and think ten times over. I have begun to realize, I have lost control of my own fears, of my own paranoia, I can no longer ease them away, I can no longer make them go away.
This morning when I woke up a song was immediately in my head, and the chorus is what made chills run down my spine.
"So let go my soul and trust in Him
The waves and wind still know His name
So let go my soul and trust in Him
The waves and wind still know his name
And it is well with my soul
It is well with my soul
Oh it is well with my soul"
The waves and wind still know His name. All I have to do is say His name. When there are thing's going on in my life I don't understand, when the world seems to be on my shoulders, when the paranoia gets the best of me, when my mind is racing in a thousand different directions and I am over thinking every last thing, when I am stressed and it begins to affect my mood and my health. When everything seems to be crumbling around me, and I have lost all control all I have to do us call His name. I just have to whisper His name, and He hears me. The God who made the stars, and can calm the storm with just a word from his lips, the same God who made the ocean, the mountain tops, and the valleys. The same God who created the whole universe, who created me. He hears me, He hears me call out his name even when I can't speak He hears me.
When I have lost all control, He is always in control.
When I am anxious, He is my peace.
When I am paranoid, He is already there.
When I am stressed, He already knows what is going to happen even though I don't.
When I am overthinking, He calms the storm in my mind.
No matter what is happening in my life, no matter what I am feeling, no matter if there is a pandemic in our world, He is by our side, He is already there, and He is in control.
"Casting all your anxieties on Him, because he cares for You." 1 Peter 5:7 (ESV)
If you're like me and this pandemic is getting the best of you, your anxiety is out of control, maybe your paranoia has gotten out of hand, your stressed out to your max. Remember He is always with you, He loves you, and He cares about you more than anyone else every could.
